My Life As A Teen Mom Part 2

Now, where was I? Oh, yes, I'd just brought home my little bundle of joy. Life hit fast forward. If there was a recipe for 'instant mom', I was it. A good night's sleep was unheard of. I'm sure I was eating? I can't remember. Unlike happy couples (who are married) I didn't have anyone to help me take shifts on waking up with the baby every few hours for feeding and diaper changes. My mom helped me a little, but she mostly left me alone. I was grateful for this. It let me become accustomed to my new normal. She let me find my way into motherhood on my own, all while offering bits of advice and feeding me whenever she could. It was truly a crash course on motherhood.

Me and my baby's dad we're still together. But we didn't see each other as much as before. When my baby was about a month old, I started taking her to see her dad more and to meet his family. It was cold then, you should've seen how bundled up I made her. We (me and her) still joke about it to this day, about how many layers I dressed her in. I was so protective of her, so worried to do something wrong. Life continued quickly, my world revolving around her. I started taking classes at home, a teacher would come to my house for a few hours while my mom took care of the baby. Doctor appointments happened, she grew out of the tiny onesies. Before I knew it, it was time to go back to school. My baby was about three months old at that time.

My mom and my baby's dad (he was already graduated at this point) took turns in watching her while I was at school. I felt odd at school, like I didn't belong there anymore. Like I was an adult, and my peers were all big babies, and I was already taking care of one. Their lives were so different than mine, so much simpler. Their problems seemed so small. They were complaining about their boyfriends, their grades, their hair, their clothes, their plans for the weekend, their parents. (I know, I made my own choices.) While I had a tiny human to go home to. I had a little life to be responsible for. I still didn't know if her dad was going to stick around forever. I had to figure what I was going to have to do to care for her properly when I graduated. If I graduated. Where was I going to live after I graduated? What job would even hire a young mom? Would it pay enough for me to support her? Would her dad help watch her while I worked? Or could my mom? Could I even afford a daycare? People looked at me weird when I came back, like they couldn't believe I had a baby. I'd gotten my figure back quickly and boys were beginning to look interested again. Like I didn't have a baby at home. But that's all they were to me, boys.

I remember struggling at this point. I was taking Chemistry and barely passing it. I had also always been awful at Math and was barely skating by in that class as well. I had a few good friends that I hung onto through all this, but most of them had dissolved at this point. Me and my boyfriend had started to argue more, but I figured that was normal in our circumstances.

By Senior year, I decided to leave my high school to attend an alternative school in hopes of accelerating my graduation. I felt like high school life was over for me and I didn't see the point in dilly-dallying to get my diploma. Life was hard enough already, and attending school for seven hours a day wasn't compatible with my lifestyle anymore. Plus, I'm pretty sure watching the baby was getting harder for my mom and boyfriend to do. The school was small, with only a handful of students. The class had other young moms like me, we became fast friends. We could leave for lunch (which we did often), I played golf as an elective (I thought I was good). The environment was laid back, and the teachers were encouraging and attentive. We did most of our work on computers. My grades were blossoming due to one teacher in particular, the Math teacher. So you can imagine my shock when I received a Math award, probably my first and last one ever. I finished school and had to wait for the rest of my graduating class to catch up with me to formally receive my diploma.

Graduation day was nuts, it went super fast. I hadn't seen most of my friends since before I'd left to the other school, and seeing them all together in our caps and gowns was surreal. That day definitely had a feeling of finality. My parents and brother were there. I remember how proud my brother looked. He was afraid I'd become a teen mom high school dropout. I saw him start to believe in me again that day. Of course my daughter was there, my mom had brought her. She dressed her in a fancy dress, I don't know why that meant so much to me. I walked the stage and received my diploma. Afterwards, me and my family took pictures. It was a joyous day.

I had graduated! I had done it! Now what?

To be continued....

Thanks for reading!

-Kathey